Wine Reviews – All Wine Glass Ratings
Here lies the sacred scroll of all the wines I’ve willingly (and sometimes regretfully) sampled from that magical land of mystery vintages and questionable pricing: Grocery Outlet. If it was on sale, on a random endcap, or looked like it had been mislabeled in 2013, I probably bought it. And drank it. And then judged it like a cranky wino with a coupon binder. So scroll down, laugh a little, and find your next $8 treasure or $8 mistake. Either way, I already did the “research” so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.
Each wine here is lovingly rated on the prestigious 1 to 5 Glass Scale, which is like stars, but more honest and shaped like what you’ll be chugging out of.
5 Glasses – Drop what you’re doing and buy a case. Then another case. Then tell no one so it doesn’t sell out.
4 Glasses – Damn good. Will impress friends who don’t know better. Pairs well with bragging.
3 Glasses – It’s wine. You won’t cry, but you won’t name your dog after it. Solid weekday drinker.
2 Glasses – Eh. Better than nothing, worse than most things. Might be improved by shame-snacking.
1 Glass – The bottle was prettier than the contents. May double as cooking wine… or engine degreaser.
Read the whole review process here.
Depending on my state of inebriation, check back for new reviews weekly!
Did someone say wine?
Wine Review: 2019 Joseph Castan Côtes du Rhône – Vive la Biscuits!
So here we are with the 2019 Joseph Castan Côtes du Rhône—13.5% ABV, 91 points from Wine Enthusiast, and lions embossed on the label […]
Wine Review: 2021 Coli Chianti Classico Riserva – A “Harmonious” Meh
Let me begin with the back label, which tried really hard to romance me with words like “harmonious” and “reflections.” I half-expected it to […]
Wine Review: 2020 Aristotle Petit Sirah – “Excellence Is Never an Accident”… a Nice Buzz, possibly so.
1/2
Ah, the 2020 Aristotle Petit Sirah from Monterey County—because nothing screams “deep philosophical contemplation” like slapping a quote from a dead Greek guy on […]
Wine Review: 2020 Château German Côtes de Bordeaux – Red Wine, No Fluff, Bring Meat
First off, props to the back label. It gave me all the info I actually care about—grape blend, region, vintage, and not a single mention of […]
Wine Review: 2018 Marichalar Rioja – Royal Vines
So I cracked open this 2018 Marichalar Rioja from Spain, lured in by the royal-sounding back label that proudly claims “Dad bought the vineyard […]
Wine Review: 2018 Señorio de Prayla Reserva – Bold Spanish Red Meets Leftover Buffet
Let’s talk about the back label first. Or rather, let’s not—because unless you have a jeweler’s loupe or the eyes of a teenage elf, […]
Wine Review: 2017 Agramont Reserva – Aging Gracefully (Unlike Me)
So I pulled this dusty little number off the shelf—2017 Agramont Reserva from Murchante, Spain—gave it a suspicious side-eye and thought, “Hmm, 2017… is […]
Wine Review: 2020 Valdepalacios Rioja – 92 Points of…
+ 1/2
So I grabbed this 2020 Valdepalacios Rioja from Spain because it had a label callout boasting a 92-point score. Naturally, I was intrigued—because […]
Wine Review: 2019 Impuls Red Blend – Drunken Calligraphy, Mellow Redemption
Let’s start with the label. Impuls—I think? Hard to tell, because whoever designed the font clearly handed the job to a medieval scribe halfway […]
Wine Review: 2019 Losada Mencía – The Mystery Grape That Didn’t Suck
So there I was, loitering in front of the wall of wine like a confused raccoon, and I spot this 2019 […]
Wine Review: 2020 Les Capistelles Côtes du Rhône – Wabbit Season, Wine Season
So, I decided to get fancy for the day after Easter and go full French with the wine pairing—because nothing says “celebrating resurrection” like […]
Wine Review: 2021 Fonte Regia Chianti Reserva – Chianti That Went to the Gym
So, I cracked open the 2021 Fonte Regia Chianti Reserva thinking, “Ah, yes, a nice mellow Chianti—perfect for a random Tuesday evening and some […]
Wine Review: 2022 Volunteer Red Blend – Not the Bold Cab I Was Looking For, But… Okay Fine
So there I was, pulling a bottle from my mini wine rack (which is basically my adult version of a treasure chest) thinking I […]
Wine Review: 2021 Diora Pinot Noir – Pinot Noir with a Personal Vendetta
Ah, the 2021 Diora Pinot Noir from Monterey. Sounds elegant, right? Diora—it just rolls off the tongue like it belongs in a candle commercial […]
Wine Review: 2022 Callie Collection Pinot Noir – Poppies, Punch, and Pinot Confusion
Let’s talk about the 2022 Callie Collection Pinot Noir from Sonoma, shall we? First impression: gorgeous label. Love those poppies—totally giving me springtime-in-a-bottle vibes. […]
Wine Review: 2020 McBride Sisters Red Blend – Plot Twist: It’s Not Great
Ah yes, the 2020 McBride Sisters Red Blend from California’s Central Coast. I picked this one up for the low, low price of $3.99 […]
Wine Review: 2023 Sebastiani Red Blend – The Sweetness That Betrayed Me
1/2
So let’s talk about the 2023 Sebastiani Red Blend from Santa Ynez Valley. Sebastiani, you say? Oh yes, […]
Wine Review: 2022 Sonoma Revere Cabernet Sauvignon – One If By Meat
So, I picked up this bottle of 2022 Sonoma Revere Cabernet Sauvignon, thinking, “Hey, maybe this will be one […]
Wine Review: 2020 Vanderpump Cabernet Sauvignon – Now with 20% Less Regret
Oh Sonoma, you fiesty girl!
Let’s start with the name. Vanderpump. Or as my eyes kept reading it after the second glass: Vanderpimp. Seriously, the […]
Wine Review: 2022 Massif D’uchaux Côtes du Rhône Villages – Dry as a British Comedy
Viva La France!
Ah, Côtes du Rhône—the underrated workhorse of the wine world. I was first introduced to these delightful bottles by a Scandinavian seaman […]
Wine Review: Clos du Napa 2020 Pinot Noir – The Pinot That Wanted to Be a Cab
1/2 (Extra half glass for the label)
Ah, Pinot Noir. The delicate, smooth, easy-drinking red… except when it’s not. Enter Clos du Napa 2020 […]
Wine Review: 2021 Clos d’Argentine Malbec Reserva — The Wine That Got Outshined by Taco Meat
(2 Glasses for the price AND for being drinkable)
I had high hopes for this one. A Malbec Reserva from Mendoza? Sounds fancy. […]
Wine Review: 2017 Ceppaiano Toscana — It’s Not Dead Yet, But It’s Definitely on Life Support
(One glass for the $6.99 price, one glass because I admire its determination)
When I saw 2017 on the label, my first thought was, […]
Wine Review: 2017 Titan Cabernet Sauvignon — Old But Not Dead
1/2 (Extra glass for not tasting like a raisin graveyard)
Uh oh, another 2017 on the label…I had immediate concerns. Eight years old? That’s practically […]
Wine Review: 2022 Cline Old Vine Red Blend — Not Just for the Fancy People
+ 1/4 (Because 3 just wasn’t enough!)
Okay, I’ll admit it — the words “Old Vine” scare me a little. Like, how old are we […]
Wine Review: 2021 Post House Road Cabernet Sauvignon — The Little Cab That Almost Could
Ah, Livermore Valley — the Napa of people who don’t want to spend Napa money. I snagged this 2021 Post House Road Cabernet Sauvignon […]
Wine Review: Rick Boyer 2021 Pinot Noir, Santa Barbara – The Steal
1/2 (Because I’m feeling generous, and also a little tipsy)
Let’s start with the obvious: It’s red. $7.99?? From $29?? This is the kind of […]
Wine Review: 2022 Amayan Malbec – The One-Night Stand of Wines
+ 1/2 (Because giving a wine five glasses feels a little desperate)
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. The 2022 Amayan Malbec from Mendoza […]
Wine Review: Bit Wicked 2021 Proprietary Red – A Blend Too Far
1/2
Ah, the thrill of picking a wine based purely on its price tag and a vague promise of quality. Enter this 2021 Proprietary […]
Wine Review: 2020 Poggio Manfredi Toscana Rosso – Mamma Mia
(Would I fight someone for the last bottle? Probably not. But I’d think about it.)
Ah, Italian wine. The stuff of romantic dinners, scenic […]