So here we are with the 2019 Joseph Castan Côtes du Rhône—13.5% ABV, 91 points from Wine Enthusiast, and lions embossed on the label like it’s the royal wine of Narnia. I mean, if your wine doesn’t have at least one animal or cryptic coat of arms on the front, is it even French? The front of the bottle gave me high hopes, but the back label… hoo boy. It tried to take me on a poetic journey through “fresh, pleasant attack on the palate” and “melted sensations.” Look, unless this bottle comes with a vineyard tour and a baguette-wielding mime, tone it down. It’s a Tuesday, and I’m wearing sweatpants. Thankfully, I was too thirsty to read the whole novella.
Now, on to the actual wine—which, thankfully, delivered. The regional mix of Grenache, Syrah, and Mourvèdre…and maybe some other local flavors. A nice mellow dry number, with that classic French table wine vibe: not too dry, not too fruity, just right in that Goldilocks zone of “I’ll have another glass, thank you very much.” There was a light jamminess, not enough to slap you with sugar, but just enough to whisper, “Hey, I’m here, but I’m not a California blend, so chill.” This is what I like to call a “yes wine”—yes, I’ll drink this with dinner, yes, I’ll drink it while watching reruns, yes, I’ll drink it while folding laundry and wondering how I ended up here.
This wine screamed (softly and in French) for bread. So I obliged—with biscuits. Yes, biscuits. Not crusty artisan baguette or warm croissant. Just plain ol’ buttery, flaky, delicious biscuits and melted butter. Call it a cultural crossover. . .A humble French red with a humble Southern carb. Viola!
The kicker? It was only $6.99. That’s cheaper than some coffee drinks, and it actually improves your evening instead of making you jittery and question your life choices. Would I buy it again? Mais oui. In fact, I might even bake some real bread next time. Or, let’s be honest—just buy more biscuits.
Types of Grapes: Grenache, Syrah, and Mourvèdre since its a Cotes du Rhone
ABV % / Fun Juice Level: 13.5%
Origin: Cotes du Rhone, France
Grocery Outlet Price: $6.99… a steal!
