The 2019 Gabbiano Cavaliere D’Oro Chianti Classico proudly announces that its vineyards date back to the Middle Ages. And let me tell you… it tasted like it might have been bottled back then too. I love history as much as the next wino, but I prefer my wine not to have survived multiple crusades. I had a small glass late at night when I first opened it, but I must’ve already been feeling festive because I have zero recollection of how it tasted. Suspicious start.
Night two, I gave it a fair shot. The nose hit me first—musty, funky, like a Zinfandel that had been hanging out with gym socks. First sip: hmm. Second sip: yep, this wine has seen better centuries. It was spicy, thin on flavor. Just a hint of puckeryishness left. It wasn’t evolving, it was unraveling..
At that point, there was only one logical conclusion: this wine is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If I hadn’t opened the bottle, it would be pushing up the daisies. (Yes, that Monty Python dead parrot. Exactly that.) I tried to power through a full glass, because quitting is for the weak. But even I have limits.
The sad irony? I had beef short ribs ready and needed a wine to match. The rest of this Chianti bravely volunteered as tribute—to the braising pot. And honestly, that’s where it performed best. May it rest in culinary peace.
