So, here we have the 2021 Jean Luc Colombo Côtes du Rhone, rocking a back label printed in what I can only assume was size 2 font. Seriously, I’ve seen fortune cookies with more legible print. After holding it under three different lights and a magnifying glass, I finally cracked the code: apparently, they like bees and donate to keep them alive. Noble cause, truly. I’m all for saving bees. Without bees, we don’t get grapes, and without grapes, I’d be drinking boxed whiskey out of despair.
The blend itself sounds promising—60% Grenache, 30% Syrah, and 10% Mourvèdre. Like the Avengers of French red wine grapes, right? Except this time, instead of assembling to save the universe, they got together to give me a glass of wine that was… well… kind of “meh.” Dry, with just a whisper of jam that barely showed up before clocking out early.
Then came the funk. Not fun funk like James Brown, more like “did something go weird in the barrel?” The aftertaste even gave me Champagne vibes, which I wasn’t expecting and didn’t exactly love. If I want Champagne, I’ll get Champagne. Or better yet, Prosecco, because at least that stuff admits what it is.
To be fair, it’s not offensive. It’s a French table wine, plain and simple. A serviceable “drink while doing laundry” kind of bottle. But nothing about it made me want to slow down and say, “Wow, I need another.” It was more like, “Huh, okay, next.”
At $5.99, I can’t be too harsh—this isn’t highway robbery, it’s just forgettable. There are way better Côtes du Rhones floating around for a couple bucks more.. This one’s more like the underwhelming first date where you politely say, “It was nice meeting you,” and never call back.
Keep looking, fellow winos—France can do better.
